andyh877 wrote:Tony Smith wrote:
A womans work is never done!
wow.... she works good..... how the hell does she stays so clean when doing the brakes
Persil
Moderators: eastlmark, BIG_MVS, phildini, Test Moderator, Alpineandy
Non Member
1407
Fri Apr 16, 2004 4:50 pm
Kent
andyh877 wrote:Tony Smith wrote:
A womans work is never done!
wow.... she works good..... how the hell does she stays so clean when doing the brakes
Non Member
1147
Sun Oct 15, 2006 8:56 pm
Bedfordshire
Tony Smith wrote:andyh877 wrote:Tony Smith wrote:
A womans work is never done!
wow.... she works good..... how the hell does she stays so clean when doing the brakes
Persil
Club Member
7463
Wed Apr 14, 2004 7:25 pm
London
Yes nice shiny carburettor and no other preparation for the Voyage leads to a new Olympic Sport, “Alpine GTA Pushing”, for those of you who are keen students of history this was first trialled on Thursday 5th July 2012.
The concept is quite simple, and all that is required to enter this sport is:
A team of five moderately to seriously unfit athletes of varying age
A 2 kilometre course of undulating French Auto Route
4 Alpine GTA’s
1 Pathfinder Driver, (must be one of the five above athletes)
1 Support Driver
5 fluorescent “Hi-Vis” jackets
1 “Warning Triangle”
Special notes with concern to the above:
Support driver:
Must be female, must have no experience of driving an Alpine, and must have no experience of driving on French roads.
Vehicle eligibility:
Must be an Alpine GTA of either the Atmospheric or Turbocharged type, though upon special request and at the discretion of the judges an A610 will be permitted as an acceptable substitute.
Now to the rules of this exciting new sport
1. Arrangements must be made for an Alpine to suffer a breakdown on the hard shoulder of a French Auto Route; in this case a burst radiator pipe was arranged.
2. All athletes will congregate at the rear of the broken down Alpine wearing the Hi-Vis jackets with the exception of the Support Driver who must remain in the Support Vehicle at all times.
a. The broken down Alpine will be known as the “Pushed Vehicle”
3. A conversation must now take place and a Pathfinder shall be nominated, upon appointment the Pathfinder must leave the group, rejoin the auto route, drive for 2 kilometres and then secure a “Secured Parking Space” for the forthcoming vehicle repairs.
a. The Pathfinder must now remain at the “Secured Parking Space”.
4. The remaining 4 athletes must now nominate a group member as a “Triangle Man” whose duties will include placing the Warning Triangle at the prescribed distance behind the contingent, returning to the group to take part in the main activity, (pushing), retrieving the Warning Triangle and moving the “Tail Vehicle” up to the new point that has been achieved by the team.
a. Experience would suggest this task shall be given to the competitor who parks at the rear of the phalanx.
5. Once the Tail Vehicle and Warning Triangle are in place the push can begin. Any combination of pushers and the “Nominated Steering Person” can be used during the push. This can be a person sat in the vehicle steering whilst the remaining team members push or steering through an open window and pushing with the rest of the team.
a. Multiple “Nominated Steering Persons” can be used provided a list of “Nominated Steering Persons” has been submitted to and approved by the judges prior to commencement of the event.
b. The use of none “Nominated Steering Persons” in this task will result in instant disqualification.
6. Once the push has begun the Support Vehicle must be kept within a prescribed distance of the Pushed Vehicle, no closer than 20 metres and no further than 100 metres.
a. The Support Vehicle must be driven with the hazard warning lights switched on.
7. At regular intervals the Tail Vehicle and Warning Triangle must be brought forward to a position closer to the Pushed Vehicle, a maximum distance from the Pushed Vehicle of 400 metres has been suggested though this has yet to be ratified by the Olympic Committee.
a. This regulation will require careful tactical planning so as to allow retrieval at a time when the Pushing Team do not have the greatest need of a full compliment such as the uphill sections of the course.
8. At a distance of 500 metres from the finish a Truck from the French Roads Commission will appear and a man with an official looking clipboard will dismount and stride towards the Pushing Team, this measure is designed to create abject panic for the Team Captain thus encouraging an increase in performance from the now completely exhausted team.
a. At this point a frank discussion may take place motivated by fear of the Pushed Vehicle being confiscated by the authorities and members of the Pushing Team being fearful of Cardiac Arrest.
9. At a point 300 metres from the “Secured Parking Space”, (see 3 above), and at risk to the Team Captain after having carefully considered the risks incumbent upon him/herself from 9 & 10 above, he/she may start the engine and drive the remaining 300 metres him/herself provided he/she is a Nominated Steering Person.
10. The Captain cannot authorise commencement of repairs until all team members have reached the Secured Parking Space.
a. Members of the Repair Crew must have been formally notified to the judges prior to commencement of the event
b. Any 3 members of the team are eligible for this task.
c. Members of the team who are not part of the Repair Crew may now take part in rehydration and cooling down activities, sometimes referred to as gulping down water, checking their pulse rate and gasping for breath.
11. The Repair Crew will make the temporary repair using only the items provided by the event organisers, this will usually consist of a rudimentary set of tools, two rolls of tape, one will be a type of duct tape, cable ties, an assortment of jubilee clips, (all smaller than the burst hose), and any rubbish found in or around the Secured Parking Space.
a. Non-Repair Crew members of the team may assist in the collection of rubbish items from in or around the Secured Parking Space, though they are expressly forbidden from touching the vehicle or items provided by the event organiser.
b. Advice may be offered from the sideline by Non-Repair Crew members.
12. Upon completion of the repair all team members will take part in tidying up the Secured Parking Space ensuring no litter is left to upset the natives.
a. Wilful littering by any team member especially the Captain will be met with a strong rebuke from the natives.
13. Upon completion of the repair and tidying up process all team members and vehicles must complete a 250 kilometre journey without the temporary repair becoming defective. It is only after completion of this final 250 kilometre journey can the event be considered successful.
a. All other vehicles must complete the 250 kilometre final leg without mishap or breakdown
b. Special dispensation with concern to minor braking issues has been granted by the organisers as it appears the French rarely use their brakes and seem to be completely confused as to why such a pedal has been installed in their vehicles.
N.B. It was originally intended for this sport to include 5 Alpines but this proved difficult to accomplish as the fifth participant could not be discouraged from chasing after Ferrari’s, Porsche and the like.
It has also been suggested that the Team Alpine Nominated Captain should have more sleep, (preferably not at the wheel), and drink less Monster energy drink to reduce high levels of tetchiness and improve his performance.
The team on the whole are satisfied with their performance but feel more time can be found during the repair stage and are confident they will be at the forefront of this sport for many years to come.
Non Member
1147
Sun Oct 15, 2006 8:56 pm
Bedfordshire
Non Member
3709
Mon Apr 18, 2005 7:11 am
Alpine France
Non Member
1407
Fri Apr 16, 2004 4:50 pm
Kent
Non Member
3709
Mon Apr 18, 2005 7:11 am
Alpine France
Tony Smith wrote:Buy Ferodo DS pads - the improvement over standard is significant.
Non Member
1147
Sun Oct 15, 2006 8:56 pm
Bedfordshire
andyh877 wrote:loving the use of the vice.....
i had all the tools required in the trailer but well done and buy mintex or ferodo next time.... never EBC.
Non Member
1147
Sun Oct 15, 2006 8:56 pm
Bedfordshire
clee wrote:DS2500 with grooved discs front axle ,rear you don't really need to get that extreme .
Non Member
2120
Sun Dec 02, 2007 6:19 pm
Jersey C.I.
PaulC1959 wrote:
Non Member
186
Sun Sep 25, 2011 7:22 pm
Hampshire
Non Member
1147
Sun Oct 15, 2006 8:56 pm
Bedfordshire
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 134 guests